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    Libertatem government splinters over region's flag

    The Red and Black
    • Vol. 1
    • Iss. Special Edition

    The government of Libertatem has splintered just days after its formation over heated arguments that erupted following a proposal to change the region's crossed-out hammer and sickle flag.

    Libertatem Manager of Military Affairs, Republic of Minerva, sparked the furor when he posted a proposal for an alternate regional flag: a yellow field with a rattlesnake, evocative of the American right-wing's adopted symbol, the Gadsden flag; with all four corners colored blue as in the current Libertatem flag.


    libertatem__909713.png(Left: Minerva's proposed flag; Right: Libertatem's current flag)

    "Libertatem IS anti-communism. Take it out of the constitution if you want to change that."

    The current flag, which depicts the hammer and sickle under a red prohibition sign, is connected to the region's constitutional declaration of war on communism. Libertatem's Founder, Liberosia, has commented on previous attempts to change the flag, saying, "The flag will stay. It's a tradition." When a resident suggested that a new flag be developed to represent all of Libertatem's beliefs, not just its anti-communist position, Liberosia responded by declaring "Libertatem IS anti-communism. Take it out of the constitution if you want to change that."

    Libertatem's government ministers left messages of their support for Minerva's proposal: Funkytopia, Chief Diplomat and Manager of State, said, "I can get behind this!" President Conservative idealism in libertatem concurred. Miencraft, Manager of Internal Affairs, said "Now, see, that's something good."

    Following this initial outpouring of support, Libertatem Board Chairman and former President Pevvania gave the proposal its first opposition. "I don't like it. The colours look bland and go badly together, the yellow shape looks far too angular and the whole things looks rather uninspired."

    Humpheria, Attorney General, weighed in from a legal standpoint, likely referring to the previous statements made by the region's founder. "A flag referendum can be conducted publicly, but an official flag change must be accomplished like a constitutional amendment." When pressed with the fact that Libertatem's constitution makes no mention of its regional flag, Humpheria doubled-down, asserting that the flag "is a fundamental concrete regional trademark that was established in the constitutional era. It is a form of government. As Attorney General, there is no precedence for such a thing and the closest thing in magnitude to this is a constitutional amendment."

    Pointing out the hypocrisy in a region purporting to be "libertarian" focusing so heavily on constitution and legalism, Minerva shot back with "The constitution is crap, useless, and breeds irrational conservatism. But only people here want to fap to a prohibition sign generally used by large governments." He went further to highlight problems caused by the current flag, including the failure for Libertatem to construct embassies with the much larger Capitalist Paradise.

    Funkytopia accused Humpheria of "moving the goalposts at the very moment when flag reform seems likely to pass," and further argued that "there is absolutely no precedence in RMB proceedings or previous AG rulings to support this sort of wild judicial activism."

    After a few snipes back and forth, Funkytopia quoted the clause in Libertatem's constitution relating to impeachment of government officials, insinuating that the Libertatem House of Representatives should impeach Humpheria as Attorney General.

    Humpheria initially called for calm, saying "This is quickly plummeting from policy debate to a regional civil war that shows weakness to everyone that looks here. If you are so concerned what people think about us, maybe you should be less concerned about a flag and more worried about how regional business is conducted." Less than fifteen minutes later, Humpheria tendered his resignation as Libertatem's Attorney General. "So, Manager Funkytopia has made a threat. Either the President fires me, or he quits. There is no one in this region besides the President that is as qualified as Manager Funky to be a diplomat. As such, I am giving the President until tomorrow at 8AM EST to find a new Attorney General. Our Chief Diplomat threatened to condemn this region's foreign standing just because I said that I would vote against a new flag. Congratulations, Manager Funkytopia. You've done more damage to this region than the Commies."

    Funkytopia responded positively to Humpheria's resignation. "I appreciate your resigning, Humph. I'm sorry it came to this, but there are things that are more important than foreign policy or the appearance of stability to our allies. I would not have advocated for your removal if I did not think that your actions as AG threatened our democratic system." Humpheria was less than enthusiastic, saying, "You will be a really great politician. Whining until you get your way to get rid of your enemies." As of press time, Humpheria had changed his national pretitle to "Furious Former AG."

    Miencraft also dove into the action. "None of this would have happened if I won the election," he said, before rhetorically asking, "Bad time?"

    The Red & Black reached out to the officials above for comment. At press time, replies had only been received from two: Humpheria and Minerva. Humpheria said, "I'm not willing to assist your anti-Libertatem propaganda."

    Minerva was much more direct: "No, fuck off."

    While Libertatem's officials snipe at one another and at the press, it is obvious to any looking in that Libertatem is a powderkeg that will go off at the slightest provocation. Today they have directed this explosion inward. Tomorrow, which of their allies will receive the brunt of their pent-up vitriol?

    Update: Following this story going to press, Humpheria has taken action to retract his resignation. In a statement, he said "Manager Funkytopia and I have reconciled our differences. He has agreed to retract his request, and I have rescinded my resignation."

    It is the belief of the Red & Black editorial staff that this action has been taken in response to the attention given to the situation by this article and the very unprofessional image cast upon Libertatem by the actions described herein.

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